


and i just can't pull myself away

by eggboyksoo



Series: after midnight [1]
Category: NCT (Band), WayV (Band)
Genre: Character Study, Clubbing, Drinking, M/M, NCT/WayV 99 & 00line ensemble, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:21:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26138800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eggboyksoo/pseuds/eggboyksoo
Summary: Yukhei’s always been a little bit in love with the boy who lights up every room he's in.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Series: after midnight [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1909312
Comments: 6
Kudos: 57





	and i just can't pull myself away

**Author's Note:**

> i was cleaning out my scrivener folder, and found this one-shot nestled into a project i hadn't opened in months. i think i planned on extending it, but i think this was a really Neat Character Study.... so i published it, and here it is. thank you d as always for beta-reading this! and yes, this fic was named after a ne-yo song which i looped while i prepared this fic for publishing! i hope you guys enjoy :)

Of everyone in their friendship group, Yukhei has always been the most spirited, the loudest and most rambunctious, the person most likely to go wild. Under the strobe club lights, however, Renjun thrives. It could be argued that Renjun thrives under any sort of light, the brightest person in a room; but there's something about the way Renjun demands attention on the dance floor, despite the lack of a spotlight.

Every melodic shift from one song to the next has Renjun beaming with excitement, and even over the booming bass, Yukhei is able to hear Renjun sing along, adding ad libs wherever he sees fit. A tipsy Renjun is always a boisterous one, unafraid to let loose. People have been watching him all night. Yukhei gets it, though—he’s all smooth lines and dangerous hip movements, dancing too good for a club. Yukhei has found himself making eye contact with a few of them a couple of times, once they’d realised he’d caught them staring, and staring at them is easier than staring at Renjun.

Yukhei finds himself looking away when people’s flustered gazes turn questioning. He’s scared of what strangers might find there. He has no reason to be mad about their staring, even if it makes him feel unsettled, his stomach flipping nervously.Then he reminds himself that he’s not here for this. Huang Renjun occupies far too many of Yukhei’s thoughts, constantly keeping his poor brain in some sort of fog. Renjun might be right _there_ , sure, and it’s the first time Yukhei’s seen him in a couple of weeks, but he’s here to forget and enjoy himself with his friends. So he does.

Yukhei’s having a pretty good time. Clubs aren’t his favourite—he’s always been a bigger fan of smaller house parties, where you can bulk buy a 12-pack of beer for the same price it is for a cocktail at a bar, and it’s easier to wild out when all the faces are familiar. But the whole gang had come out tonight, and they’d settled on Whiplash, which was a group favourite. Despite its BDSM name, the DJ always making sure there was something for everyone.

It’s nice to have the gang all reunited. It had been a little while since all nine of them had had a free weekend, and they’d jumped upon the chance to go out. Clubbing wouldn’t have been high up on the activities that he would’ve chosen for their first reunion in a while (that would’ve been nice speakeasy, huge table, lots of drinks and an evening with his head perched on Renjun or Mark’s shoulder), but Yangyang had insisted, and Renjun and Jeno had complied, so they’d all ended up agreeing. Being with his friends, despite the throbbing bass and the way the beginnings of a headache was blooming at the base of his head, was cosy. It made him think about the old times, when they were able to do more things as a group. The old times, when being with everyone, Renjun included, was as easy as breathing.

Yukhei finds himself enthusiastically jumping to the beat of a 2000s hip hop song as he watches Renjun and Jeno challenge Kunhang and Yangyang to a competition. Competitions are common when the four of them have been drinking—he thinks it might be body rolls this time. Yukhei also knows that if the dance floor wasn’t packed and not covered in shattered glass, Renjun and Jeno would be lying and grinding on it just to prove a point. Outside of the competition circle Yukhei’s found himself in, Donghyuck’s attracted a crowd that’s cheering for him as he dances, after going super hard to Beyoncé’s _Naughty G_ _i_ _rl_ , Mark cheering him on. Dejun and Jaemin had been standing with Mark, but they’d tapped him on the shoulder a few minutes ago, telling him that they were going to get some drinks.

He’s in the middle of belting out a shockingly out-of-tune rendition of _Thnks fr th Mmrs_ , one fist in the air, when Renjun presses up against him, arm reaching around his waist. Yukhei slings an arm over his narrow shoulders, pulling him as close as possible. “Yes, Yukhei!” Renjun screams, in the general direction of Yukhei’s ear. “Fuck it _up_!”

Yukhei yells, and continues his passionate, horrible singing in earnest. Renjun dances  with him, neither of them letting go. It’s weird—Renjun’s super sweaty, his face glowing under the lights, but he doesn’t smell bad or feel gross. Yukhei wishes he could relate.

Renjun pats his cheek. “Having fun?” He asks. When Yukhei nods, Renjun beams. And even if he _wasn’t_ enjoying himself, Yukhei would’ve said the same thing, just to see that smile.

The music changes, and as NeYo’s _Closer_ begins to play throughout the club, Yukhei decides to do something stupid: he pulls Renjun into his chest. He can blame it on the alcohol later. They sing the chorus together in unison, and Renjun laughs as Yukhei’s voice breaks on the higher notes, both arms now around Yukhei’s waist as they jump up and down as a unit, adding a few runs to his singing just because he can.

As soon as the chorus winds down, the beginnings of another song being folded into NeYo’s second verse, Renjun stands on his tip toes, trying to talk to him. Yukhei bends his head, so Renjun can talk into his ear. “I’m glad you’re having fun,” he says, loudly. “You should always be having a good time.”

Renjun smells like he’s been bathing in soju with a hint of whisky, but his eyes are bright and his cheeks are flushed. If Yukhei had had one more vodka lemonade, he probably would be doing something really stupid right now—the temptation to lean in, lay one on him, is overwhelming.

Yukhei doesn’t.

He smiles back. “Thanks,” he says. It means a lot to him.

Renjun reaches up to ruffle his hair, face still distressingly close. This could be a Moment, if Yukhei seizes the opportunity. His brain screams, _NOW KISS!_ And he can feel his heartbeat beating erratically, head spinning and for the first time tonight, it’s not because of the copious amounts of alcohol he’d been drinking. But Yukhei is a coward, and before he gets the courage to say or do _anything_ , the music switches again.

“Oh, _shit_! _GUESS WHO’S BACK! BACK AGAIN!_ ”

And just like that, Renjun’s gone. Despite the heat of the room, Yukhei physically feels Renjun’s absence, the little party animal jumping back in the thick of it to sing along with Mark.

“Stop looking so devastated!”

Yukhei jumps. It’s Dejun, rolling his eyes at him—rude. Jaemin stands pressed against Dejun’s shoulder with his glass of water, wearing a scarily feral grin. Yukhei grumbles under his breath and turns away, ignoring Jaemin’s cooing.

Pretty much all of Yukhei’s friends know about his crush on Renjun, barring Renjun himself. He’d tried to keep it to himself, but Donghyuck had said, “Look, even someone has oblivious as Mark has figured it out, which means you’re as subtle as a bull in a china shop, Yuk.” And everyone had agreed, so he doesn’t even try to hide it anymore. Jaemin’s the president of the “Yukhei and Renjun would be so chaotically cute let’s get them together” club, and the rest are all board members.

Jaemin wants Yukhei to make a move. Yukhei thinks he’s absurd.

This is the thing: Yukhei might just be a little desperately in like—it’s love, he knows, but it’s too pathetic to admit—with Huang Renjun. He has been from the moment they first met and he’d stupidly made a joke relating to their names, something about how Huang was an honorary Wong, at least if he was introducing himself in Cantonese. He had just been the cutest person he’d ever seen, and then he just expanded on that by being an overall brilliant human. What was Yukhei supposed to do? _Not_ feel anything?

But Renjun barely ever dates, too busy with his art projects (which is totally understandable, since they’re all huge and draining) and is a little reserved. He’s never given off _I like you_ vibes to Yukhei, like ever, so he knows realistically he’s got no chance. He’s made peace with it, even if he looks like a star struck idiot every time Renjun does something more than breathing. It doesn’t matter that Donghyuck sized him up one time, and had announced to him and the others, “The sky is blue. Water is wet. Yukhei is exactly Renjun’s type. _Try_ flirting with him and you might be surprised.” Because it’s not gonna happen. Yukhei might look like Renjun’s type but he’s not sure if he is on the inside, and he’s learnt that despite a good package being super beneficial, what’s inside matters. Renjun’s too smart and thoughtful for it not to. And Yukhei’s not dumb, not by any stretch, but he doesn’t know how much he has to offer.

So now he’s stuck in this horrible limbo, where he pines away for his best friend who gets more lively and attracts more attention with every passing day, and tries to repress his burgeoning feelings.

He tries to remind himself that there’s absolutely _nothing wrong_ with being just friends.

His heart says that’s a crock of bullshit and summons up a picture of a hypothetical situation where he and Renjun get to spoon and he gives up.

 _Beauty and the Beat_ comes on, and Renjun somehow manages to land a beautifully graceful turn, despite the extreme stickiness on the dance floor, and Yukhei’s not sure if his heart is in his damn throat or if it’s dropped down into his stomach. Maybe it’s in two places at once, he doesn’t know.

Yukhei is in love. Yukhei is so disgustingly in love, it’s embarrassing. And he’s in love with someone who is wilfully ignorant of his feelings and probably doesn’t reciprocate.

Someone press f.

**Author's Note:**

> any and all feedback is appreciated <3


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